Forever
by Hasegawa
Summary: He wanted to be a child Forever. One sided Japan X China. Pairings: Kiku X Yao.


Recommended BGM (Which the author also heard when writing this story in super speed): River Flows in You.

My most productive day! Two stories in a day! Happy Anzac day everyone (For Oz)!

One sided Kiku x Yao.

* * *

He wanted to be a child forever.

As Japan walked pass through the park, he caught a glimpse of some boys playing around, running over a ball, with all the girls giggling while swaying on the swings. One or two mothers were sitting on the bench, gossiping among themselves, deep inside very animated conversations. Laughs and shoutings are heard, some passers-by smiled like him, Japan noticed. They looked over the park, found the scene amusing, and have a soft laugh painted on their lips, tired or not.

He walked slower through the road, bordered with two lines of houses. It was afternoon, the sun almost sets; he would be home just in another five minutes or more. He would be home and started to cook for him and his boss; then enjoyed the bath, moon and night snack with his dog. And then he would sleep. His daily life, his daily happening. Nothing much, nothing was changing, nothing was interesting. He even lost track of days and dates.

He was getting old. He was getting dull. He was getting old alone.

It was his fault, of course, by falling into a teenager psychology trap. If only he didn't feel like he needed to prove himself; if only he didn't surrender to self boasting and his innate cruelty, if only he stayed the same gentle child. If only he would accept his status as a little brother and stayed nice beside China. If only he didn't fall to the pride and stupid ambition. If only he never grown…

He grew, of course. He was found by China inside the bamboo forest. The scene was quite memorable. With him alone in the woods, scared and lonely because he didn't even know where he came from. He was just there. And suddenly a big creature came over him. He thought it was a country eating monster or something.

But the scary creature smiled and asked him his hand.

_"Be my brother, aru."_

China was, as he walked and laughed, _graceful_. China was, as he smiled and sang, _beautiful_. China was, as he looked after him and tended on him, _motherly_. China was, as he kissed his head and taught him things, … _everything_ _nice_.

Japan drunk his tea while reminiscing the past. He used to sit on China's lap at night, wondering at the moon up high.

_"The people are pounding on the rice to make rice cakes aru!"_

China's make believe was appropriate for a child. But Japan hated it. He wanted to be adult soon. So he sighed and said,

_"The rabbits are making mochi, desu." _

He contradicted China a lot. Yes, he changed almost everything he got from China. He didn't want to be similar to the graceful, beautiful mother. He wanted to be himself, who could walk hand in hand with his mother, proud and on equal with his beautiful brother. He tried to be an adult faster. He made himself strong, made himself hard, made himself proud. He was proud when he conquered China, despite how the older nation weep as his back was torn by Japan's katana.

_Look, nii-san! I am stronger than you! I could… protect you. _

But it wasn't the case. In place of protecting, Japan was actually hurting the beauty. In place of cherishing, Japan was actually crushing China in his palm. He hurt China both inside and outside. He didn't realize it, being blinded by pride and teenager love and lust and self-make belief. He was happy that he got China.

Now he needed to pay his consequences. He needed to pay his youth mistakes, his teenager foolishness. He needed to stay alone each new year; being uninvited to the palace where his beloved, _beloved_, beloved older brother was having a big party with his other siblings. He needed to stay alone in exile because he might hurt again—and the pain was never gone from China's back.

Japan swallowed hard. The green tea tasted bland.

It used to taste bitter. China prepared bitter black tea, with some sweets and fruits.

_"Aru, eat a lot! Because you need to grow and grow into a healthy strong nation!" _

China would cuddled him up, washed his back. He would hum some Chinese lullaby, before falling asleep first before Japan. China would tell him histories, stories about how his emperor saved his people, stories about romantics in wars, stories about how his people achieved greatness. Many, many beautiful and scary stories about Mongols, about Journey to the West, about Romance of Three Kingdoms. Japan loved the story about the falling goddess whom married to the ox-boy. It was such a sad love story. He loved to imagine how happy they would be whenever they met once a year.

And Japan turned it into Tanabata festival. His feet suddenly felt icy cold.

He sighed, turning his eyes to the cup. Green liquid peered back at him. In a way, he was heavily depended on China. Half of his _festivals_ originated from his big brother. Half of his _identity_ originated from his big brother. Half of his _things_ are originated from his brother. Half of his heart _belongs_ to his brother. He was stupid for not realizing that love had grown, all along.

Oh, how he wished he could turned back the time, when he was still young and child, still fit into China's lap, and this time, he would listen and cherished whatever the bigger nation was telling him; not faulting it and turning it into something else. He would listen properly, enjoying the time together, trying to ask China to pamper him more. To hug him more, to like him more, to hug him more. To sleep together, to eat together, to play together. To spend the time of eternity together.

He would grow up, but this time into a fine young man whom his brother can proudly called, _"My brother aru!"_ and not rejecting it. He would grow up into a young nation but strong and dependable, caring and helping China side by side, sitting together in the UN meetings. Smiling together, feeling strong because they knew that they could depend on each other even though the other nations refuse or refute them. They would be best of brothers, or if not … lover.

His dog licked his hand. Japan stopped day dreaming.

"You are acting spoiled." Japan smiled and patted the dog. The white fluffy adorable thing licked back.

Yes, this was the reality and reality never lied. It was just a dream, an empty wish. Oh, how wonderful it would be if… Suddenly the phone rang. Japan hurried to get it.

"Moshi moshi… Yes, It's Kiku…. Nii-san?"

Japan swallowed.

"… are you sure? I… I can go? To the new year celebration next month?"

Japan listened attentively to the phone.

"In your home? But… you haven't forgiven me…"

Japan was silenced for a minute before tears started to flow down his cheek.

"… Sorry. I am sorry, Yao nii. I… I missed you too."

Japan smiled.

"Thank you, Yao nii."

And suddenly the night was so much warmer. And he was glad he had turned to be an adult.

* * *

Review?


End file.
